How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
