Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
