He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
