BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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