Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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