I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
