I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize