I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There r osticjed everywhere
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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