She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
