My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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