so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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