we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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