We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
