Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize