well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
