i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
