I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
