I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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