he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have post one night stand depression
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
