They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
