I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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