Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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