I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
