Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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