I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
