and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
