He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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