Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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