Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
