perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he shaved USA in his pubs
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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