How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
