If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I AM VODKA MAN
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
