i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
