dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
