he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my sisters under your porch take her home
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
