No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
