I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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