Whod you bang
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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