Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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