I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
