I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize