Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
false alarm. still invincible.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
