I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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