we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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