I think i peed on brittanys purse
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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