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Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
