You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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