whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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