Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize