I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize