i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
