You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
