And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
