Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I heard we made out
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My life is pants optional.
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