I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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