just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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