You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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