Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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