Your mouth is God's brothel.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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