Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
