You really coming over, don't trick.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
