Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
