More tranny stories later!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have feelings that need drinking.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
