My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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