There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
