Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The uberlube is also flammable
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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