Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
