Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
