There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
