Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
