everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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