dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
