You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
