Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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