she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
