Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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