marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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