tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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